Big Wheel Keeps on Turnin'

I mentioned some months back that I had read the latest in what had been the interminable Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan. I say "interminable" not because the series was unreadable (since I've read every one), but rather because there truly hadn't seemed to be any end in sight. Jordan has stated that there will be only one more book in the series, so the light is most certainly beginning to appear at the end of the tunnel. Although you'd be hard pressed to find much of anything in this last book to indicate an approaching end.

For some reason, this particular book has been lauded as a return to form, with the previously glacial forward momentum of the plot taking giant steps forward. A closer look at the threads that are being advanced, however, reveals that this is simply not true. One of the characters rescues his wife (a process that itself took several books), another of the characters gets married in accordance with prophecy, yet another character prevails over her rivals and wins a throne and what used to be the main character captures one of the Great Big Evil's henchman.

Of those four, only the last could really be linked to the plot at large--which was probably why it got about 10 pages out of over 700. The other three are really just resolutions to tangents that prevented the plot from moving forward in the first place. It's only now that those threads have tied off that the story has any chance of moving forward.

The actual plot of the book is supposed to be focused on the coming battle with the Dark One (the Wheel of Time's version of Sauron), yet very few of the characters in the book think that this is a situation that requires any urgency on their part. This despite the very strong evidence that the Dark One is going to be busting out of his prison, including: the fulfillment of prophecies, climate shifs, invasions, and evidence that the very prison "bars" (in this case, discs of what are supposed to be an "unbreakable" substance, evidently the WoT version of adamantium) themselves are crumbling! I tend to picture the characters sitting in a car, arguing about the color of the upholstery as they drive off a cliff.

Now, each of the tangents I mentioned above is presented as important to the eventually arriving Battle Royale, which we as readers can certainly take on faith. But the length to which these points are extended simply isn't justified. The reason things take so long is supposedly because there are so many different factions operating at their own purposes that even simple tasks must be drawn out over the course of several days--a point that is reinforced over and over and over again. Evidently, if you fart at the wrong moment in WoT World, some village halfway across the continent will have a bad harvest.

This meticulous devotion to needless detail extends to the characters themselves--there are hundreds of them. It's one thing to have a cast of thousands in a series of books, it's quite another to present dozens of minor characters with absolutely no context whatsoever. Oftentimes you'll be presented with a name or names of minor characters, perhaps only in passing, who are not actually doing anything in the present scene, and you will be expected to recall who they are, why they're there and what they want.

Should you have any difficulty in recalling this information, you're free to find it out on your own time. There is a glossary in the back of the book which presents information on a broad range of topics, most of which doesn't address the characters in any way. To expect your readers to slavishly commit to memory every last detail of your books is arrogant; not providing them with a means to figure it out is insulting. This is a fantasy novel, folks, I shouldn't be required to study it the last 10 books in order to understand the 11th.

And despite the fact that the series is now 11 books in, the characters are as paper-thin as they were when they were first introduced. It was an interesting device to associate a physical tic (tugging at a braid, smoothing a skirt) or a manner of thinking (men not understanding women, vice versa) with certain characters when they were first introduced as a shortcut for characterization. But as the books progressed, these tics were not replaced by anything deeper, or else they were farmed out to multiple characters (it's now difficult to find a woman who wears a skirt in WoT who isn't thinking about or in the process of smoothing it) ; I had expected at this point that at least a token amount of character progression would have taken place, but that just isn't the case.

The best example of this would be the main character, Rand al'Thor, who is the WoT version of either Aragorn (a hero king who had been living "in exile") or Jesus (destined to die to save humanity). Ever since Rand has learned of his destiny in the middle of the series, he's become grim, focused on the endgame, and ever-so-slightly insane. And he's remained grim, focused on the endgame, and ever-so-slightly insane ever since. In fact, the only real way a reader could differentiate his character over the course of the books is by counting the number of wounds he has. In this last book, he's lost a hand--which will no doubt result in his becoming more grim, more focused on the endgame, and ever-so-slightly more insane. I expect that he'll next experience character growth by losing an entire limb. Or maybe an eye. Hell, I'd stand on line for the book on the first day it was released if I knew beforehand that Rand would go through the majority of it without a head. Now that would take character!

Then there is the much-maligned portrayal of women. Almost every female charcter (I say "almost," although I can't think of an exception at the moment) is depicted as someone who, at core, is a controlling shrew who needs either to receive or mete out a spanking. At worst, this is thinly disguised sexism; at best, merely espousing a rather adolescent viewpoint. Since I believe Mr. Jordan set out to portray a matriarchal society as a reaction against the typical, male-dominated, fantasy setting, I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt. But it ain't easy. The main men, however, are for the most part portrayed as idiot savants: they're good fer the fightin', but "wool-headed" for just about everything else. The Harry Potter series, as maligned as it occasionally is for being "kiddie lit," has managed to squeeze in more emotional maturity in 6 books than Mr. Jordan has managed in 11. As someone who's read all of the Potter books, I can also attest that at least Ms. Rowling has steadily ramped up the maturity level to match her audience's age--a lesson that seems utterly lost in WoTville; that is, unless meaningless complexity counts.

The only way that the next (and "last") book can complete the task of resolving the myriad loose ends is how it should have been done in the first place--quickly. By doing so, Mr. Jordan will finally expose the series as the shell game it truly is. There is no Gordian Knot to be found here, just another 'ultimate' battle between good and evil that got lost somewhere between the Shire and Mordor.

Gluttons for punishment, however, will be pleased to learn that another 2 "prequel" books will come out after the series is finished (one has already been published). Perhaps then we'll find out exactly what mysterious force has been wrinkling all those skirts.